Will Genia, considered one of the world's best halfbacks, revealed Friday that he endured sleepless nights after being axed by the Wallabies but said he holds no grudges.
The scrum-half was dropped for Australia's Rugby Championship clash against Argentina last Saturday, paying the price for inconsistency despite being stand-in skipper in the previous Test.
Nic White replaced him and was impressive on his starting debut, with coach Ewen McKenzie not feeling the need to call upon Genia's services off the bench.
The 47-Test veteran, who has received messages of support from greats including Nathan Sharpe and George Gregan, accepts he will again be a substitute behind White for the Test against South Africa in Cape Town on September 28.
"I was absolutely gutted when I was told I was dropped from the position I love and it still hurts," the 25-year-old told the Brisbane Courier Mail.
"It hurt on Monday. It hurt on Tuesday, Wednesday and the rest of last week. I got quite rundown not being able to sleep properly.
"The only thing that makes me feel better is when I go for a run, practise my kicking or do my extras because I know I'm that much closer to getting back to where I want to be."
Despite the setback, Genia said he bore no grudges against McKenzie and was determined to win back his place in the starting line-up.
"There's not one bit of a problem with Ewen. I've known him a long, long time," he said.
"It's my situation and mine alone to change. Basically, I got told I've got to play better because I had three Tests which were a bit off. I was told 'prove us wrong'.
"I accept the call. I definitely feel I can play better but, I tell you, I'm not ever going to put myself in this position again."
The Wallabies are due to fly out of Australia in the coming days for the two-week tour of South Africa and Argentina.