If you haven't heard by now, a judge denied a motion to shut down the production of everyone's favorite hot sauce.
Sriracha, made by Huy Fong Foods in Los Angeles, was on the ropes after the factory's neighbors filed a lawsuit, complaining the factory creates fumes that burn eyes and throats, and cause headaches.
Worry of a Sriracha shortage had ensued: eggs, pizzas and noodles would no longer be doused; they would be dabbed. It would no longer be worth wasting a tablespoon on an experimental martini. Our Sriracha cookbooks would be useless.
Now that the crisis is avoided, let's celebrate the things we can do with Sriracha.
1) Participate in Sriracha Challenges
Far and away the most popular thing to do with Sriracha besides eating it normally is to ingest it in ways that push your body to the absolute limits.
A common way is to chug it. You can find plenty of videos in which bros without shirts chug Sriracha while someone films with their camera held vertically. But the best Sriracha chug takes place at this otherwise genteel dinner party (Warning: clip features NSFW language and vomiting.)
If you don't want to chug the whole bottle, it's also acceptable to do shots.
Brush your teeth with it: not quite ingesting, but sort of.
2) You can feed it to young children
If you don't feel like chugging, shooting, brushing, or snorting Sriracha yourself, feeding it to children can be fun, too.
Like this kid in Germany.
And this baby.
And this other baby, who shows a really liking for the stuff.
3) You can make things with it
You can make a Sriracha Halloween costume.
You can make silkscreen art.
And you can make a Sriracha sprinkler, because the sauce that goes on everything should go on everything.
4) You can use it for unintended, but functional purposes
Like opening a beer.
Or testing a water-repellent coating on your car.
5) You can produce short films and commercials about it.
Like a commercial for an assignment in marketing class.
Or a commercial that's also kind of like a surrealist film.
Or this thing that's pretty much just a surrealist film.
Or a video in which you use Sriracha to draw smiley faces on your friends.
6) You can make music about it.
If film isn't your creative medium of choice, you can honor Sriracha through song.
You can record a cringeworthy rap song.
You can perform a trippy homage at Electric Forest.
Or you can made an ode to Sriracha that is also an ode to 'Murica.
7) Name your pet "Sriracha"
Maybe the best thing you can do with Sriracha is to name your awesome dog Sriracha and then dress that awesome dog up as a skeleton for Halloween.
Yeah, that's definitely the best. And if the sauce is ever gone, maybe that's all we'll have left.