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Laughter, failure, and the post-game interview.
Russian cat videos are the best. They may lack the shiny production values of Japanese cat videos or the existential depth of French cat videos, but they're unmatched in raw comedic power. Behold this video of a bunch of Russian guys trying to get this cat out of a claw machine. It's not really clear how it got in there, but two things are axiomatic: (1) you can never beat a claw machine, and (2) you can never, ever impress a cat.
Here's our imaginary post-game interview:
You didn't get the cat with the claw. Was that disappointing?
First of all, I'd like to thank God. I thought we played hard and competed. You know, at the end of the day, all you can ask is that you give 110 percent. We didn't extract the cat this time, but as long as we're giving that kind of effort, I know we'll grab it at some point.
You almost got it that one time. Talk about that.
I maneuvered the claw, but didn't quite get it. Thought it was a good play.
Do you feel that the claw didn't have its A game? Do you think that maybe a substitute claw would have been helpful?
Well, I think it's easy to get bogged down in "what ifs" when you don't get the cat. I thought we had a good claw and I'm not gonna get caught up worrying about other claws.
You didn't take a break and have a drink at any point. Talk about that.
I don't think second guessing is that useful here. I thought we had great focus. I thought staying in the moment was the best plan to get the cat.
Do you think LeBron will opt out and become a free agent?
I don't want to get into trouble with the league, but suffice it to say that LeBron is an amazing player and would be welcome to try to grab a cat with this organization.
Tell us about your opponent, the cat.
I didn't appreciate the cat licking himself throughout. I thought that kind of taunting had no place in the claw machine game.
Is that a quote?
Look, cats are really difficult to grab with claws. They're fluffy, they're grooming themselves. And they hate people. So we weren't really trying to stop him, so much as contain him with the claw. He's a great opponent and we look forward to grabbing him with a claw in the future.
Any last comments?
I just come out here with my teammates and do the best we can to support each other and hopefully come out with the win and a cat.