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For when ‘yo mamma’ just doesn’t say enough.
As long as there have been words, humans have been using those words to make other humans feel bad (probably). So it's little wonder that the world has a lot of names to call people by. Admittedly most of them involve mothers, anatomy and mothers' anatomy, but we've tried to skip the simply shocking and go right for the ridiculously rude. Here's a sampling of some of the most creative insults from other cultures (warning: contains bad — and bizarre — language).
... or, "Your mother is a big turtle." Because turtles aren't monogamous, get it? Zing!
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... "I sh*t in the milk." Imagine a pitcher of milk in the middle of the breakfast table. Now imagine a Spaniard defecating in it. Yes.
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... you, sir, are "ass dandruff." For which there is no shampoo, oh no.
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... "Your mother married a reindeer!" File under "yo mamma."
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... "May you lie in the ground and bake bagels." If that sounds like a rather pleasant way to spend eternity, consider this: those are bagels you will never get to eat.
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... "One who parks in the shade." Because you'd have to be a total wimp to take precautions against the sun turning your vehicle into an unbearable radiating hell box, am I right?
... literally, "ass wipe." So how does the word manage to sound so darn cute?
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... "F*ck your eye whites." It's the specificity you have to appreciate here.
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... "May the bow of a violin enter your anus." Not a concert we'd wish to attend.
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... "Try to paint my fart," or less literally, "f*ck off." Unless, of course, you're up for the challenge.
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... "Twisted belly button," which means — obviously — that you are one sick puppy.
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... "May the cat eat you, and may the devil then eat the cat." It's not clear why the cat has to get involved here.
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... "Eel skin full of sh*t." Wait, eels have skin?
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... "I can blow farts in your spoon when the soup is too hot for you." Um, thanks?
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... "Take a dump in your hand and then slap yourself." This requires quite some commitment from the insultee.
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... "Sweat of a lizard's ass." And there you were, happily living your life, without once having thought of either a lizard's sweat or its ass.
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... "I hope your fingers change into fishing hooks, and you get an itch in your balls." Think about it.
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... "You are as ugly as salad." And salad is very ugly indeed.
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... Never let it be said that English isn't vulgar. Thanks, Australia, for an image that needs no translation.
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