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... and Rouhani was a minipig. Their story might look a little like this.
You've probably heard about the 10 minipigs born last month at a zoo in Hanover, Germany.
You've probably also heard about the phone call last week between US President Barack Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani.
Both significant news events in their own right, made better only by combining the two.
Here we go! If Obama was a minipig ...
And Rouhani was a minipig ...
Their story might look a little like this:
It all began, as is often the case in minipig affairs, with the written word. Obama and Rouhani began exchanging letters in the leadup to the UN General Assembly meeting last week.
It seemed to be going well. So well, in fact, that there was talk of a face-to-face meeting at the UN.
In the end, that proved "too complicated" for Rouhani. Minipigs afterall, take baby steps.
But then came the phone call, the first of its kind between leaders of the US and Iran in 34 years.
"I'm doing fine, thanks, Obama. Sow are you?"
None of the other minipigs ever sausage a thing.
They didn't know what to make of it, and some were quite vocal about their excitement.
"No way! It's snout Obama's style!" "I didn't know Rouhani could be suede!" "Well, they're really hogging the limelight..."
Not Netanyahu. He made it clear that he didn't want anyone squealing over the matter. Everyone in Israel was instructed to keep their snouts low.
If there's one thing a minipig knows, it's that when the farmer hollers "Lunchtime!", it's not always good news.
Sometimes he really means "Bacon!"
All photos taken at the zoo in Hanover, Germany, by Jochen Luebke/AFP/Getty Images.