What can you say about your girlfriend? Is she cute? Loyal? Always watching over you?
But is she there all the time, literally watching over you? Sometimes not even blinking?
Well, now there's an app where you can say yes to all of the above.
It's called "Watching Cute Girl," and it basically entails a somewhat interactive video of a cute girl staring at you and sometimes saying things. She does blink, just not as often as you might think.
The app is from a Japanese company called Ningen Inc. More specifically, it is from the awkward, lonely and somewhat humorous recesses of Japanese comedian Kendo Kobayashi's brain.
She is tuned into the time of day and so when it's morning she says things like, "Good morning!" When she has a "favorable attitude" toward you, she may whisper sweet nothings like, "Just watching you makes me happy."
She also says some pretty odd things like, "Feed me a stray cat" and "I want to go to a hot springs." And don't get too close! She gets a little testy if you touch her or pick up your phone. Just leave her on the table next to you. That's where she likes to be.
According to iTunes, the app is for when you are "working alone/ having dinner alone/ need powers of concentration/ want to feel eyes from someone." Because don't we all.
The app actually launched in 2012, but now for the first time it's free.
So, this is creepy, right? And sad? I mean, it's no secret that we're living in a world where our (easier to find and buy) relationships with technology are seeking to replace or at least augment our (harder to make and sustain) relationships with people.
The recent blockbuster "Her," starring Joaquin Phoenix and the voice of Scarlett Johansson, was a moving study of such a phenomenon. And this app is yet another dismal reminder of which way things are headed.
But Kotaku reported in 2012 that we all need to lighten up. The app is tongue and cheek, it said, as evidenced by the fact that it was dreamt up by a comedian and includes a "Kobayashi" feature by which, when you turn it on, she calls everyone "Kobayashi."
OK, sure. But then there are the customers who have actually been using the thing over the last two years.
One by the name of ♥Moylan♥ stated the following in an iTunes customer review:
"No more lonely study sessions! It makes for good company for whenever I'm busy studying or doing work on the computer. And it runs very smoothly! I also agree with the other reviews; needs more cute girls and an English version. Maybe diffrent personalities for every girl? That would be awesome."