There are so many things wrong with this story.
A notorious Italian gangster has been caught stealing men’s underwear and gardening equipment from a supermarket in Milan.
But Renato Vallanzasca, 64, is supposed to be serving four life sentences and nearly 300 years for violent crimes including murder, kidnapping and robbing banks. Despite all that, he was apparently allowed to take a weekend leave, which he used to rob a supermarket of some scratchy, low-value underpants.
At this point you might be wondering three things: a) What sort of self-respecting mobster steals men's briefs? b) Did they look like these?
And c) Why in the hell was someone with such a violent criminal record as Vallanzasca allowed out of prison? This is what Italian authorities had to say on the matter:
“We are really surprised,” said Bollate Prison Director Massimo Parisi.
What? That a dangerous criminal was on the loose? Nooooo. That he tried to steal underwear, garden shears and fertilizer. “No one would have imagined such an illogical move from him.”
Vallanzasca, who was the leader of the Comasina gang that terrorized Milan in the 1970s, may lose his hard-won weekend leave pass if convicted of the alleged offense.
While it might sound implausible that a mobster with a rap sheet like Vallanzasca's would shoplift, it wouldn't be the first time he had stolen stuff from a store.
Vallanzasca was first arrested in 1972 after robbing another supermarket.