This stand-up comic is so funny he doesn't have to speak

GlobalPost

LONDON, UK — “Let’s deal with the elephant in the room. I know what you were all thinking when you saw me come on stage. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. It happens all the time and I’m used to it by now. 

“You were thinking, here comes another wanker with an iPad.”

Lee Ridley is waiting for his set to start at the Good Ship bar in Kilburn, a northwest London neighborhood once gritty and Irish that’s slowly being colonized by hipsters. He’s opening — one step below the headliner on the comedy hierarchy, steps above the two acts in between.

Ridley, 34, is an up-and-comer in the UK comedy scene. Since booking his first gig in February 2012, he’s played Edinburgh Fringe and the Leicester Comedy Festival. In December, he won the BBC Radio New Comedy Award.

The emcee calls his name and through the applause Ridley takes his place on stage, where an iPad mini is waiting atop a stool placed there in advance. Ridley taps at the screen and the voice comes on, an authoritative monotone that’s both mechanical and very human.

“I’m here to make you all feel awkward,” the voice says from the speakers, and Ridley offers a big thumbs up, and grins.

 “Can you imagine how hard my life would be if I could actually talk? It just doesn’t bear thinking about! I’d have to remember how to say words, remember how to form sentences and remember all my jokes.”

At the age of 6 months Ridley contracted encephalitis, which resulted in cerebral palsy. His right side is weaker than his left — “I move like a zombie from 'The Walking Dead,'” he’s said of his gait — and his mouth and tongue muscles aren’t strong enough for him to speak.

That’s the origin story of Lee Ridley, aka Lost Voice Guy, the first and only stand-up comedian (as far as he knows) who can’t speak.

Sign up for our daily newsletter

Sign up for The Top of the World, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning.