The incident reduced CNN's Anderson Cooper to a giggling, teary mess, barely able to squeak out "Sorry, this has never happened to me" as he recounted "news" of Gerard Depardieu being thrown off an Air France flight for urinating in the middle of a packed cabin.
Depardieu, one of France's best-known actors, has reportedly blamed prostate problems for the midflight "jet stream" (Cooper's words, not ours), somewhere between Paris and Dublin.
And, moving the story from the the ridiculous to the sublime, one report claims that there was spillage, and that Depardieu's traveling companion, actor Edouard Baer, had blamed a mini-Evian bottle that was "too small" for Depardieu.
Meanwhile, a fellow passenger has reportedly told the Telegraph that before standing up and urinating on the cabin floor, Depardieu exclaimed "I need to piss, I need to piss," the Telegraph reports.
The Golden Globe winner had been drinking, a passenger also claimed.
Depardieu — who starred in several U.S.-based films, including "Green Card" — was "sorry" for the episode flight, his travel companion, French actor Edouard Baer, reportedly told Europe 1 radio (via the Telegraph).
Baer — who co-stars in "Asterix: God Save Britannia," which is being filmed in Ireland — said:
"Gerard Depardieu wanted to go to the lavatory... He was barred access. We were not far off taking off, so he urinated in front of everyone. I passed him a small bottle.
"He couldn't wait, so I found this solution. I had a little Evian bottle with me, only it was too small so it overflowed He wanted to clear it up, but the hostess wouldn't let him.
"It was naturally very embarrassing and humiliating for him. He didn't do any grand gestures and shout: 'I'm going to piss.' Whatever the larger-than-life nature of my friend Gerard, no one is that crazy."
Baer blamed the incident on health problems.
"No one is flattered to have a dodgy prostate and be obliged to urinate. But the [flight attendant] panicked and said the plane must stay on the tarmac," he said. "I stopped him because he wanted to go and explain to the crew, he was sorry and he was furious but didn't lose his temper."
Meantime, go direct Cooper's "report" on the incident this week in a segment called "The RidicuList" and see what had the normally overearnest warzone reporter giggling like, well, a little girl. (WARNING: contains some seriously bad puns ... intended).