Well, that's it, we're doomed.
Humankind's last hope for survival beyond December 21, 2012 – or, to be precise, 1/13th of its last hope – was shattered yesterday when one of the ancient Mayan skulls supposed to save us from destruction was dropped and damaged in eastern Germany.
Yes. German tabloid Bild describes the skull, known as Quauthemoc, as one of 13 believed to have been carved by Mayans thousands of years ago from black volcanic rock.
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Legend has it that Buddhist missionaries took it from Mexico to Tibet, from whence Nazi Germans stole it in the late 1930s. Convinced that whoever united all 13 skulls would rule the world, the head of the SS, Heinrich Himmler, built a special crypt to house them beneath Wewelsburg Castle, in western Germany, which was designated as the Nazis' future "center of the world."
At least, that's the tale told by Quauthemoc's current owner, 43-year-old amateur historian Thomas Ritter, of Dresden. "Historians believe that this is nonsense," Bild points out.
Ritter and the owners of the other skulls are due to meet in the Mayan city of Palenque in Mexico on Dec. 21. Together, they were supposed to prevent the apocalypse predicted by the Mayans at the last minute, Bild said.
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Then – cue one clumsy lab assistant. During a photo shoot in Glauchau, in the eastern state of Saxony, a technician dropped the skull, which fell to the ground and lost a part of its jaw.
According to Ritter, the damage really isn't that bad.
"I don't think it's a bad omen," he told The Local, maintaining that he still plans to attend the Dec. 21 skull-fest.
"The prophecy says that the skulls will reveal a secret knowledge to humanity on that day," Ritter informed the news site. "But I can't say more than that. The skulls might start speaking or something, but I have no idea."