A Canadian drug store chain sent a Toronto man a bizarre post-apocalyptic response to a complaint he sent the company.
Andrew Gardner sent Shopper's Drug Mart an email complaining that he was receiving mail from the company for someone named Matthew.
Gardner wrote the store a mildly humorous message pondering why he was receiving Matthew's mail:
Naturally, I can draw one of two conclusions from this: 1) that Matthew is a previous resident of this address …
Or 2), and I may be going out on a limb here, Matthew is a future resident of this address, and seemingly against the laws of causation, your computer system has this information and prematurely mailed an advertisement to him before he’s actually lived here.
Gardner was shocked when he received this response from the company eluding to a post-apocalyptic future:
Thank you for writing us. We apologize if you have been receiving mail from Shoppers Drug Mart that was addressed to another customer. Unfortunately, we cannot comment on any research projects that we may currently be conducting. However, we would appreciate it if you could provide us with some additional information that would help us determine when the mailer you received was sent. Could you please let us know if it contained any of the following advertisements?
1) Now at Shoppers Drug Mart: Everexis
Cure any disease instantly with Everexis! Great for headaches, colds, cancer and more! With no known side effects, nothing can possibly go wrong!
2) 20X The Points on Meat Products
Got the Everexis munchies? Fill your strange and unspeakable hunger and get 20X The Points!
3) 20% Off Everexis Antidote
Everexis left you slow, lumbering, and quick to anger? Take the Everexis antidote. It hasn’t been fully tested, but it certainly can’t make things any worse!
4) Hide in a Shoppers Drug Mart Refugee Shelter
With over 1,200 locations still standing across Canada, Shoppers Drug Mart is the ideal place to hold up and hide from the hoard. Ration Nativa Cheese Puffs and Life Brand Vitamins while you wait for rescue! Blood samples will be required for admittance.
5) Wheat, Glorious Wheat
Exclusively at Shoppers Drug Mart! Rebuild society with wheat, a traditional nonsynthetic foodstuff from the before-times. Act fast, as quantities are extremely limited.
On Thursday, the drug store employee who wrote the message, Mark Oliver, came forward and said he was just trying to brighten the man's day.
Gardner said he was pleasantly surprised by the email, reported the Toronto Star.
Shopper's Drug Mart, initially negative about the message and denying that it could come from one of their own, decided it was good PR and praised Oliver for keeping customers happy.
The public ate it up:
@writingmark Sir, that letter made my day. Good on you.
— Aurora (@Aurorahhh) June 6, 2013
@writingmark Vonnegut would be impressed. Good work.
— Tashiki (@TashaTheAmazon) June 6, 2013
— Lanie Treen (@lanietreen) June 6, 2013
The two pen pals might even become friends:
I called, @writingmark answered. This is the Shoppers Drug Mart legend who replied to my email.
— andy gardner (@plorry) June 6, 2013