Whoever said that “bad sex is better than no sex at all” was not a woman.

Definitely not a European woman. Let alone an Irish woman.

A study of the sex habits across the EU carried out by Women’s Health magazine revealed that those women who are getting the most action in bed are least satisfied with their sex lives.

Our condolences to all Irish women.

Seven out of ten Irish ladies say they are not satisfied with sex, yet it‘s not for the lack of trying. An astounding 42 percent of them have sex more than three times a week, The Irish Sun reports.

I abstain from speculating what all of this says about Irish men. Say what you say about their lovemaking skills, they are the most committed men in Europe.

According to the 2010 European Singles Survey, commissioned by PARSHIP, part of Europe’s largest premium online matchmaking service, 57 percent of Ireland’s single men hoped that their next relationship would result in some form of commitment.

Here are some of the survey's tips for dating an Irish man:

• Overall, single Irish men have experienced 3.38 serious relationships and dated 5 different women over the last 12 months, resulting in 2 casual relationships
• Half of Irish men haven’t had a serious relationship in more than three years but 60 percent think they’ll meet someone special over the next two years
• 54 percent prefer to find women in a pub, although in the next 12 months 57 percent intend to go online to find love
• The majority of single men – six out of ten – are happy and content being single
• One third of men believe that, in an ideal world, one parent should stay at home to raise the family
• Paris Hilton is the celebrity they would least want to date

Back to the sex survey.

To be fair to Irish men, it’s not just Ireland where people claim less sex is better.

Collecting grossly inappropriate Eastern European advertisements is one of my long-time hobbies.

Yes, it is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel, but hey, it’s more fun than collecting stamps.

You may remember the billboard I saw in Slovakia last year.

It featured a nude woman with no pubic hair with a slogan that read: “Have you been neglecting your front year lately?”

It was, naturally, an ad for a hardware store.

Well, I think I can top that one today.

Straight from prime time Czech television comes this gem:

A young woman on the screen is having an orgasm for about ten seconds. You are not sure what’s happening. Has my TV accidentally switched to a German porn channel?

No, no, no.

Shortly, you find out it’s an ad for banking. For student accounts, to be precise.

The message is this: You wish your “first time” was as good as your first bank account.

The bank account package, by the way, is called G2. Students thus have their own banking G-spot in each branch of Komercni banka. Quite handy, eh?

The ad comes (literally) in two variations. One features a woman.

The other one features a man:

According to his own meticulous record-keeping, Ed Houden has an 80 percent success rate in impregnating women.

That’s not the only procreation-related qualification he gladly publicizes.

His website advertising his “private sperm donor services” also lists that he is HIV-negative and does not have chlamydia.

His sperm count is more than 100 million per milliliter of ejaculate, which is — according to him — what makes him such a successful donor, he told Spiegel Online.

He admits he was a bit of a sexual “late bloomer.” He lost his virginity at 34, but has since more than made up for it, if fathering 82 children counts for anything (with 10 more on the way).

Simply put, Houden has found his inner purpose: spreading his seed to as many women as possible.

At 42, he is too old to donate sperm through clinics by the “official route,” which means clinics would use his sperm for insemination and IVF. So he sticks to the old-fashioned way: he knocks them up.

Here's how it works:

Houden finds women “interested in having a baby without a father involved” online through the sperm-donation site spermaspender.de, according to Spiegel Online:

He already has three children in Berlin. The remaining 79 live in other cities and countries, including Belgium, Italy, the Netherlands, New Zealand and Spain. Houben has entered their names, dates of birth and genders into an Excel table at home. The oldest child is almost nine, while the youngest is only 2 months old.

In short, Houben, a historian from Maastricht, volunteers his services to help women who lack time, money or opportunity to take the “official route” to becoming pregnant.

What he is doing isn’t technically illegal. There are no limits on how many children someone can have, or rules on how a child is fathered.

But still, he could potentially get in trouble.

Tiny waist. Check.

Disproportionately large chest. Check.

Long, blond, straight hair. Check.

Long, weirdly spaced eye-lashes. Check.

Meet Valeria Lukyanova, a 21-year-old Ukrainian model who has made it her life goal to become a live Barbie doll, the plastic icon made famous by US toy maker Mattel.

The logic of wanting to look like a Barbie doll in the first place aside, one must admit she has achieved her goal, including a vacant, doe-in-the-headlight staredown.

Lukyanova has become an internet sensation, although some sources claim she might be a Photoshop-perfected hoax.

After all, no woman can be this perfect.

Not to say there haven’t been other cases of women who attempted to look like the famous — if utterly disproportionate — female doll.

Take Sarah Burge, who was dubbed the "real-life Barbie" several years ago, after having plastic surgery reportedly costing about $800,000.

But perhaps no other Barbie-wannabe has come this close to looking like an actual, human-sized, Barbie-looking blow up doll.

For more disturbing pictures, visit her site.

Or, even better, watch this spoof video: