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The Hindu nationalist Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh — a paramilitary group of khaki short-shorts-wearing radicals that number in the millions — has come up with yet another bright idea to combat the creeping influence of globalization, according to a local report.
To compete with Coke and Pepsi, the Sangh's Cow Protection Department plans to release its own soft drink soon — based on cow's urine.
Yes. That's right. The original Mellow Yellow. For some Indian Hindus, the bovine excretion is a magical elixir that can cure all kinds of ills, not to mention purify you if you've been "polluted" by touching an untouchable or some such rot.
According to the paper, the head of the Hardwar-based department, Om Prakash, said: "We refer to gau ark (cow urine) as gau jal (cow water) as it has immense potential to cure various diseases. We have developed a soft drink formula with gau jal as the base and it has been sent to a laboratory at Lucknow for testing."
"It will be a revolution of sorts. The acceptance of cow urine as a potent medicine is increasing day by day and once it comes as a cold drink, its demand will definitely increase," Prakash claimed.
Coca Cola corporation could not be reached for comment. Just kidding.