For those who started 2012 with the resolution “have more sex” — and I know there are lots of you — I don’t recommend looking to Indian newspapers for counseling.

It might actually put you off sex forever.

Just this week, The Times of India came up with a quaint list of everything that is disgusting about sex.

As if the headline “Weird, disgusting facts about sex“ isn’t telling enough, the story is filed under the following keywords: women, tongue, sex, kissing, kingdom, facts, ejaculation, disgusting, and bacteria.

Here's what to watch out for, according to the list:

1) There 500 types of bacteria in our mouth. French kissing is gross.
2) Every day about 100 million couples around the world have sex. That means around 65,000 couples are having sex right now. Isn’t it gross?
3) Naked bodies make noises. Gross. Sex with clothes on is a more hygienic idea.
4) Vaginas can stink, if not washed regularly. Gross.
5) Sex is messy. Thank goodness women do most of the cleaning.
6) Sex between burps "sucks." Don’t have sex after eating. (This is especially true after eating Indian food)

One can only speculate how the same nation that created this list was able to produce 1.2 billion people.